How to Make a Woman Moan (without her faking it!)-Blog #3
What’s that? It doesn’t sound possible? Or I got you. Right now, you’re thinking: It’s never happened to me before. I always make sure I please my woman.
Well, I hurt to burst your bubble…. but every woman has faked it at least once in her life.
According to a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 22 percent of 1000 women indicated they have never experienced an orgasm, and only 31–40 percent said they reach orgasm during intercourse. For those bad at math, that means this study suggests that of every 100 women, 2 of them never orgasm. And of those 98, which have had an orgasm, only about 39 of them orgasm during sex. So, that leaves 59 out of every 100 women are not cumming during sex!
That is outrageous! How can you not question if you have been faked out doing the deed?
But why even do it? It’s stupid to fake it, right? Why not have the courage and confidence to say what is obviously not working? Simple.
Well, no, it isn’t.
Imagine this:
You set the scene. You got her prepared. The timing is right. You have been given the green light. Cue Marvin Gaye or whatever preferred sex jam. You are feeling good. This is amazing!
Then you realize your partner is very quiet. Like pin drop eerie silence.
You look down (or up) and see a bored expression. Her face occasionally scrunches up. And then, sometimes you can hear, not the utters of moaning pleasure, but “ouch”.
This is one of the things you can get when a woman doesn’t fake it. Men may not show it but not getting her off is kinda a knock to the grind and ego at the same time.
For most guys, they are left with two options: (1) finishing (I’m already here. One of us might as well get off.); or (2) stopping and being angry with themselves which is directed at what they may categorize her as a frigid c@#*!
Either way, the rejection felt in that moment will leave you wondering what happened to the sexy mink you were promised in your previous flirtations.
Why you Mad it Might not be about You?
Some men get upset knowing they had been a victim of a fake orgasm. Pump the brakes on your male egos for a second. There are many reasons why women could fake an orgasm, which is psychological as well as physical.
Some of the many possible reasons why women are not reacting to their climatic hallelujah moment:
- Body image-She feels bloated and ugly. Her mind is too busy worrying about what he thinks of her stretch mark or fleshy inner thighs or the scar she has on her butt. Whatever. These little blemishes their lover may not care about but they are rolling through her head.
- Stress– Juggling things in your personal and professional life can build up stress. Women are naturally conative beings. Meaning: our actions and behaviors stem from a mental process that we normally overthink.
- Pain– Whether it is a headache or a backache, we don’t want to be touched when our body hurts.
- Fear of being vulnerable or losing control- She feels the trust she has with her sexual partner isn’t strong enough to let go. It’s like standing there and clutching your purse at a Black Eyes Peas concert, waiting for it to be all over.
- Exhaustion– Dude, sometimes a woman just needs her sleep!
- The temperature is off– It’s too cold or too hot, we aren’t thinking about getting down and dirty. We are thinking: Give me more blanket or turn on the AC.
All and more reasons for making it hard for her to relax and enjoy sex at that moment. This causes a woman to feel bad. She sees how excited and happy you are. She doesn’t want to disappoint you or cause an argument or make you feel rejected. She likes/loves you, dummy! No one wants to hurt the feelings of people they care about.
Basically, it’s not always about you. (But sometimes it is.)
Because they obtain it every time, many men think of the orgasm as a goal to be met at the end of sexual contact. Leading to the belief that without that euphoretic climax, they have failed in some way.
Well, baby, you both have. Without the confidence for her to speak her truth, to say what really gets her off, the two of you have failed in creating a safe, intimate space where both partners can reach that orgasmic high.
This speaks to an underlying inadequacy in the relationship. Communication and feeling comfortable communicating are the basics of relationship 101. These are important elements on the emotional and physical side of your partnership.
Unfortunately, communication isn’t always received.
If partners aren’t listening to each other, you’ve both failed.
Imagine:
She’s bravely opened up and is leading the way. Position it here. Slow down. Speed up. She’s like those guys on the flight tarmac without the orange cone pointers.
She’s communicating what feels good. Things are working for a second. She’s making the right noises. You get more excited.
But then, you keep moving back into your terrible old habits. You are feeling good. And everything you learned has gone out the window. You stop listening!!!!
And for that, you deserve the dry desert you’re poking into. You don’t even deserve that weak, long moan and high pitch sigh of the fake orgasm that calls out for the sex to finally be over. Instead, the woman should just get up, grab her clothes, and you can watch her naked butt leave as she texts an uber or a better fuck to pick her up.
Communication is an exchange of talking, listening, and reacting. And repeat.
On a side note: People need to realize that sometimes being intimate doesn’t have to end with an orgasm. At times it’s just not the right day. Work on making you both feel good in other ways, like a foot massage, offering to watch something she really loves, or simply asking about her.
It’s easier than her faking an orgasm and you worrying about her faking one.
A Change of Climate
For decades, we women have taught ourselves to fake orgasms. It’s a sickness that we rather think of another’s butt hurt feelings than say: “Look, I’ve tried telling you some important instructions. How to move. What I like. The tempo. But you just don’t listen. So, I just wanna go home and call it a day. I got some laundry to do. Bye.”
Women can’t say that. So, we fake it. It’s the universal woman’s call of tapping out.
But the tide is changing. Now women feel more empowered with their bodies. We feel more comfortable with sex, whether an orgasm happens or not. And we feel like our partners accept us, with or without receiving the pleasure spasms.
And I think having confidence, communication, and a genuine connection to your partner fuels this honest yet satisfying sexual interaction.
So, A Call to Sexual Action:
Stop worrying about if she is faking it or not. Have an honest conversation. Find out what you both like and work with it. After a short time, you never know, you may find her sex orgasm together.
Jasmine Lace 